Ashamed of me - against the world

Like most people I enjoy going out with friends. but often make excuses not to go when asked.

On the odd occasion I do go, I always apologise that I embarrass them, because I think I talk to much, to loudly and about the wrong things. (even though they say I don't and its ok, they are not quick to ask again)

Yet I only join in the conversation, I don't talk any louder than they do or more than them in fact usually a lot less. 
Is it me, or it is them...............I think it is me, I am becoming a recluse, a loner and sad though it is, in a strange way I am happier this way.

I am sick of my friends, I am especially sick of one in particular, I lost sight of my enemies (who ever they are) Everything is messy, nothing is simple.  I wish I could turn it off as easy as switching off the light.

Life, love, we read about it, we watch it on TV and in the movies, but it doesn't have that happy ending..

.

Our lives we plan so undecided

Hoping things will turn out right

Yet as we wake each morning

We never understand the meaning

Of the dreams through the night

Conversations we go over in our head

Yet somehow never speak

As each hour turns to a day

And in turn the days into a week

As the months pass us by

And seasons turn around
We often ask the question why
We exactly where we were last year