More people today are lonely, we have more form of communication than ever before, but how often do your pick up the phone and talk, or go for lunch and have a good natter. We send text in weird text speak, that is difficult to understand, or we send short emails that sound abrupt, because we feel that short is better because we think the recipient won't bother to read it.
Yet years ago it was wonderful to receive a 10 page letter with all the news once a week, or once a month.
What happened???
Life is what happened, it took over, we work longer hours, spend less time with people we love.
It is a sad reflection on society as a whole. We lose track of time, we may think we haven't seen or spoken to someone for a few days, but in fact it is often weeks.
Forget the idea that love is all around us: it seems to be acute loneliness that is pervading our society.
According to many sociologists and psychologists, it is now a national epidemic afflicting women of all ages and at almost all phases of the life cycle.
A student living away from home for the first time, a new mother, a single woman unsuccessfully looking for love, a newly married woman, a mother whose children have grown up and 'flown the nest' or a recently retired woman.
All are as likely to report feeling lonely as an elderly woman - the group we wrongly assume are the loneliest of all.
Researchers offer several reasons for the increasing problem of social isolation and chronic loneliness.
More of us than ever are living alone, with one-third of all UK households occupied by only one person; they also point to the increasing divorce rate and declining role of the Church - all leading to a more fragmented society.
In addition, we are much more geographically mobile than our grandparents - moving on average five times in our lives, making us less likely to form community bonds or even to know our neighbours.
And, of course, technological changes have had a massive impact on the way we live.
It is no longer necessary to leave home to shop, to 'meet' people, to communicate, to earn a living, to learn about the world or to be entertained.
While some level of loneliness is an unavoidable fact of life, it seems to be emerging as the leitmotif of our times.
According to experts, people need both emotional and social attachments to minimise loneliness; one cannot compensate for the lack of the other.
So, for instance, a happily married woman with small children who is socially isolated is likely to feel lonely because she lacks friends. And a single woman can be surrounded by a large circle of close friends, but may still feel lonely because of a lack of a deep emotional connection.
The second form of loneliness is existential isolation.
It is, more profound and stems from the unbridgeable gap between the individual and other people.
I work from home, an easy life, but this isn't at all true, it is all to easy to to become stuck in that lonliness bubble.
For a while, I tried to convince myself I was coping. But I wasn't. Much of the time I sat staring at my computer screen or my four walls, in silence and in tears, waiting for my phone to ring or for an email to arrive, unable to motivate myself.
Although I initially tried to put on a cheery facade to the outside world, I began to find that it required too much energy. So I withdrew. I lived on my own and, unsurprisingly, began to feel increasingly isolated and alone. I remember a good friend saying to me: 'Just phone people. Just make the effort to go out and meet people.'
But that is a bit like telling a smoker or an alcoholic just to quit; or telling someone who is chronically depressed just to get out of bed and go and do voluntary work. It's a bit more complicated.
It also adds to any guilt you're feeling, because you look at the world around you and ask yourself what you've got to complain about - which makes you feel even more pathetic.
At the time, I remember thinking about all the simple things I really missed about having colleagues - chatting about something on TV the previous night, or a story in the papers, or just office gossip.
I missed something I'd taken completely for granted - conversation.
It struck me that for the first time in my life, since starting primary school, then going to college and doing various jobs, I had to face every day with nothing but my four walls for company.
I'd always thought I was comfortable with my own company, I'd spent plenty of weekends and evenings on my own, and occasionally travelled alone; but this level of isolation was completely different. It is scary, when you constanly talk to yourself, or argue with the TV, you stop eating, and for me spent a lot of time sleeping to get through the day. I also felt I had become a burden if I rang my friends, they would be busy, and having a conversation with them would be like pulling teeth, so I gave up, turned the phone onto silent, so on the odd occasions they rang me I ignored it, and they stopped calling, the isolation became more intense. I can't burst the bubble.
My company is now the computer screen................................
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